One of my favourite parts of working at CHOICE are the emails.
We regularly get contacted by the public about all sorts of things. Sometimes it's slightly pedantic (there's too much fat on my lamb shoulder is a personal favourite) but sometimes it's deadly serious. One reader got scammed out of millions of dollars, their entire retirement savings, and didn't get a cent back. Completely devastating.
But, recently, one phone call to our customer service team had our entire editorial team going nuts.
This CHOICE subscriber had purchased a pack of toilet paper that claimed to have 180 sheets per roll on the packaging. But then she opened the pack…
And started counting.
The results: 145, 133, 147, 158 and 153.
Uh-oh. I think I see a pattern emerging…
Now, if you told this story in the real world, I'd wager the response would be something along the lines of, "why are you counting toilet paper, you madman?" But the response at CHOICE was the complete opposite.
We wanted in. Almost immediately, everyone who had that brand of toilet paper at home was on high alert. Our internal comms channels started pinging wildly as messages came through. Everyone was carefully counting toilet paper.
Not only were we counting toilet paper, but we were brainstorming ways to count the sheets more effectively. (We settled on laying them out in lines of ten so you don't have to count them individually).
Photos were coming through, along with questions: How many ply were these tissues? Were the tissues of uniform size and shape?
Not only were we counting toilet paper, but we were brainstorming ways to count the sheets more effectively
In my two decades of working as a journalist, I can't imagine anyone I've ever worked with getting this riled up about toilet paper.
But that's CHOICE. CHOICE is unique. And I'll never forget this – in the midst of all the toilet paper counting, one member of the team said something that stuck with me. They said: "If we don't count them, who will?"
It was a statement that resonated quite broadly with me. In my two years at CHOICE, there have been times when I've openly asked myself, "what are we doing here? Does this stuff really matter?"
I ask this seriously. At this point in history, we live in turbulent times. Extremism is rife, political violence is escalating, wars and genocides are taking place and we're here counting toilet paper.
But if we don't do it, who will?
Last year's Shonky winners! The green juice with no greens in it was a personal favourite.
Misinformation is everywhere, AI is constantly hallucinating. Most of the world gets its information from four websites, using algorithms controlled by a handful of extremely rich, American tech oligarchs. It's never been easier to lie about things, to make false claims, to scam consumers.
And in the midst of all this, who is going to test the fridges? I mean, seriously test the fridges? Who is going to methodically put five grams of egg yolk onto 200 plates to test dishwashers? Who is going to listen to 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman on every single set of speakers we test? Who is going to test the sunscreen?
And who's gonna count the toilet paper?
In times like these, I firmly believe that subscriber-driven, not-for-profit services like CHOICE or Consumer NZ in New Zealand, Which? in the UK, Consumer Reports in the US – they're more important than ever.
And 20 years since we first launched them here in Australia, the Shonkys – our annual awards for the worst products and services – are also more important than ever.
Who is going to methodically put five grams of egg yolk onto 200 plates to test dishwashers?
This year we celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Shonkys. We believe that in 2025, these awards are more important than ever.
The Shonkys are an expression of our purpose. Our need to be pedantic about the details. To seriously test claims companies are making about their products and services. It's a reflection of the work that we do all year round and how seriously we take it.
And for that reason, we run the gamut. Of course, we use the Shonkys to call out big issues, like bank misconduct or the supermarkets' role in the cost of living crisis. But we also test 'grounding socks' and Xbox mini-fridges and we do this with the same level of rigour. We're Karens and Darrens. We want to talk to the manager.
The Shonkys allow us to do this. And they allow us to make a whole lot of noise when we do so. Through the seriousness of our testing, our willingness to count the toilet paper, we've earned a level of trust that's very unique – particularly in this specific era.
For all those reasons, 20 years in, we believe the Shonkys are more vital – and maybe more relevant – than ever. I'm proud of the small part I've played in bringing the Shonkys to life. I hope we can do 20 more, and 20 more after that.
(And for the record, three separate members of the CHOICE editorial team tested and counted six rolls of this specific brand of toilet paper. All of them had 180 sheets. Thanks for the heads up CHOICE subscriber. If you ever feel like you're being shortchanged again, don't hesitate to send us another email!)
We're on your side
For more than 60 years, we've been making a difference for Australian consumers. In that time, we've never taken ads or sponsorship.
Instead we're funded by members who value expert reviews and independent product testing.
With no self-interest behind our advice, you don't just buy smarter, you get the answers that you need.
You know without hesitation what's safe for you and your family. And our recent sunscreens test showed just how important it is to keep business claims in check.
So you'll never be alone when something goes wrong or a business treats you unfairly.
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Stock images: Getty, unless otherwise stated.
