The 2011 Shonky Awards

CHOICE's awards for the shoddiest services and the shonkiest products.
 
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09.Quail Kingdom

CH1111_Shonkys_quail_WEB

Shonky for Quack (or “chirp”) medicine goes to...

Quail Kingdom

One of our readers drew our attention to Quail Kingdom quail eggs, a health food with “huge benefits”. According to its website, quail eggs treat everything from:

  • high cholesterol
  • Abnormal blood pressure
  • Tuberculosis
  • Type 1 diabetes
  • Chernobyl-style excessive radiation
  • Kidney stones
  • Excess weight
  • Hair loss
  • Wrinkles
  • Male potency issues
  • plus more

Frankly, we were astounded. After years of writing about health and medicine, how on earth did this miracle elixir pass us by?

Thinking that the company’s own web site may not perhaps be the most reliable source of medical information and clinical trial outcomes, we checked up Medline. There was not a single clinical trial demonstrating the amazing healing powers of quail eggs – no doubt a conspiracy between medical researchers and Big Pharma, which would probably collapse overnight if any of this were actually true. Nor were they listed on the Australian Register of Therapeutic Goods, which was surprising, given the high-level therapeutic claims the company makes.

Casting a broader net, we checked the whole internet. There the therapeutic value of quail eggs received a lot more credence – and, as we all know, the internet never lies. They appear to be popular among the alternative medicine set, based on traditional use and beliefs in their powers that go back hundreds of years. According to the Nigerian Tribune, they even cure cancer! As anyone still waiting for their millions of dollars from corrupt Nigerian officials will attest, it might be wise to avoid jumping on this bandwagon.

 

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Video: Quail Kingdom

No matter which way you slice it, it's still a lemon.

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